Loving someone vs. being “IN” love with someone

I have never quite understood this. I love my husband… isn’t that enough? What exactly is the meaning of being “IN” love? I think it is an overrated word that women and men use as a cop out in their relationships. Jim and I have been married for 19 years this year.

September 1995            me&mybaby

Could I imagine my life with someone else at this point… no! We are comfortable with one another. Maybe to some that sounds crazy. But I know that he accepts me for me and I accept him for him. There are not many surprises with us anymore but that is simply because I have become an extension of him as he has for me. Many times we know what the other is thinking well before we vocalize it. We have a nice life… its not always roses and sunshine but it is what we make it. We fight like anyone else but at the end of the day we like it or lump it! The love we have for one another now is no different than the love we had for one another when we married. Many times I find myself thinking we still act like those young kids. I still love to hold his hand when we are out and about. I can’t wait for him to come home and wrap his arms around me to say hello after being apart. He settles me(or tries to) when I am up in arms and at my wits end.
I am a firm believer that you make your life what it is. This feeling of being “in” love is for high schoolers who don’t know the true meaning of what it is to be loved or to love a significant other.
For me love is the feeling of security, the knowledge that no matter what you do or say can change the relationship you have. The knowledge that your other half will always be waiting for you when you get home. Is that boring? Maybe for some! But I feel that is what makes a relationship great! I am happy with my life and am glad I entered this journey with the man I did!

us now

For those of you out there, that have other ideas, I would love to hear your thoughts. Sometimes I wonder if I am alone in this feeling. Jim disagrees with me on this and that is ok. I would love to understand the other side of it, he has not been able to convince me. Maybe I am just stubborn! Or do I already know this “in love” feeling and I just don’t term it the same way? Is “IN LOVE” really what I am? This is an ongoing quandary for me and I would love to finally put it to bed.


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